Slenderman is what happens when you let /x/ write a horror movie. Could’ve cut all the shitty “open the door but he’s not actually there” type scenes and just build on who Slender is. The game came out in 2012, everyone who played it is an adult or at least almost one. The second half is just so goddamn bad lolĮdit: Also, I just don’t understand making a movie on a cult-like character like Slenderman and then making the most generic horror movie for 14 year olds. I actually liked it halfway through, I never really cared for Slender but I’m a sucker for monsters in the woods and I love horror movies of characters slowly going insane, so there were high points. She sees Wren die, then struts off into the woods and gets Evil Dead’d by Slender’s tree trunk. There’s zero build-up of Hallie’s sacrifice.Someone tell your fucking parents or email the fucking author of the book on Slender instead of chatting some random on Skype.Terrible monologue of how “WE spread Slender” to try to involve the audience in the movie like a “You could be next!” but what the fuck it’s so out of place and the movie just ends? Everyone in my theater just groaned or sighed at the end of that.Predicted Hallie would have to sacrifice herself halfway through because “we have to give something we love” and obviously your fucking coffee mug from pottery class isn’t worth shit Wren.So we don’t care about these people because we know nothing about them and there are no conclusions for them, sounds great. Wren is hilarious snagged through a window by a tree. Chloe is seen for 10 seconds as a crazy bitch and then is NEVER shown again. Katie’s standing 5 feet behind her friends when she “disappears.” Nothing happens to Tom. Every character’s ending/death feels whack.But all of that is pretty standard cliché horror movie shit Slender’s thrown at us 10 minutes into the movie, and while there’s some pretty s p o o k y scenes, there were some with nothing scary (Katie’s dad showing up at Hallie’s house wtf is the point of that scene?) Could’ve cut those and used the start for character building. Wow there’s lots of problems with this movie:
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